NO BUT REAL TALK OK I WENT TO SCHOOL IN GEORGIA AND I EVEN HAD TEACHERS TELLING ME THAT I SHOULDN’T CELEBRATE HALLOWEEN BECAUSE IT WAS THE DEVIL’S BIRTHDAY AND I GOT SUSPENDED FOR 4 DAYS BECAUSE I WROTE AN ESSAY ENTITLED “You’re All Dumb, The Devil Wasn’t Even Born: The Story of All Hallow’s Eve” AND I TALKED ABOUT THE HISTORY OF HALLOWEEN, HOW IT WAS A PAGAN CELEBRATION TO VENERATE AND APPEASE THE DEAD AND HOW THE DEVIL WAS TECHNICALLY AN ANGEL THAT WAS CAST FROM HEAVEN AND BECAUSE ANGELS WERE CREATED BY GOD THEY WEREN’T BORN THEREFORE THE DEVIL COULDN’T HAVE A BIRTHDAY. MY PRINCIPAL WAS SO CONCERNED FOR ME BECAUSE I WAS IN 3RD GRADE AND HE GOT MAD AT MY MOM FOR RAISING SUCH A “DISRESECTFUL, HEDOONISTIC CHILD”. SHE BOUGHT ME ICECREAM AND LET ME WATCH CARTOONS WHILE I WAS OUT OF SCHOOL.
”..the Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve..”
PROPHET LIKE IT’S HOT
I hate you guys sometimes
Random crow shows up on dude’s porch, looks him straight in the face and says ‘fuck you’
earlier this year 2 boys got expelled from my school for going on a teachers email and sending another teacher an email that says “you’re a disgusting little man” and i laugh about it all the time because imagine opening an email from your coworker and thinking it’s important and then it says that
He’s got to be some kind of ancient God of beauty because this is ridiculous.
Petition for him to play a swashbuckling pirate or a starship captain or an ancient gladiator or, really, ANYTHING where we can just look at him and drool and dream for ninety minutes.
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PUT THIS MAN SOMEWHERE IN THE MCU I DON’T CARE WHO HE PLAYS I JUST NEED HIM THEREOh! Black panther! Yuuusssss
Seconding the Blank Panther.
If you didn’t think “Shia LaBeouf” could get better, you were wrong.
I literally can’t believe this exists there are tears in my eyes that I don’t remember crying
ok so what if Harry and Neville got into like this passive-aggressive lie-off regarding what a truly great man Severus Snape was like they got drunk and Harry was like ‘Snape though’ and Neville was like ‘I know right’ and Harry was like ‘what a… what a fantastic bastard. What a guy.’ and Neville was like ‘we should fuckin’ get him like, like… let’s have a funeral. A huge fucking fuck-off sized funeral with like, lilies, and, a marble coffin, and a big statue, an’ crying women, an’ all that shit’ and Harry got whiskey up his nose laughing so hard and he falls off his stool and just wheezes 'lillies'
and then during the funeral Neville and Harry like spend the whole time trying to give a better eulogy like they keep getting back up after each other are done to try and have another go at it but then they get schooled by Hermione being like ‘for fuck’s sake boys this is how it’s done’ and she goes up to the podium and just bursts into wild banshee hysterics and throws herself across the glistening marble casket, sobbing ‘oh, it should have been me, would to god that it were me, you stallion of a professor’ and all the reporters tear up a little and then go home to pen really fervid biopics on this bleakly noble and tragically overlooked hero of the revolution
anyway like eighteen years later Harry names his kid after Severus and sends an owl off to Neville like ‘your move, mate’ and Nevill pauses in the middle of polishing the giant marble statue of Snape tenderly cuddling an armfull of adoring woodland creatures that dominates like 2/3 of his office to cuss a lot and pour himself another drink
i’m angry and sad and emotionally drained and i just want to sleep
college is kicking my ass. i had an art history midterm today, and i feel like i must have failed it. which is bad. i’ve taken the course before but i didn’t get credit for it, and i know my stuff. but the professor wanted all of these totally useless details that weren’t in the book and dates that we never went over and i’m like ??? you can’t test us on material that was never covered or even was supposed to be covered??? but ok u do u
SHUT UP! : for that dumb blogger who thinks it’s legit to talk about you 24/7. for the twitter users who are too dumb to lock their accounts before trash talking. for that friend who is…not really your friend at all! sit down and fix your Martini with their salty tears.